When we talk about abuse, many people imagine a bruised face, screaming matches, or someone being dragged into a violent situation. But the truth is, abuse is often much more complicated, and many people experience it in ways that go unnoticed or misunderstood. To truly support survivors and challenge harmful systems, we must start by unlearning some of the biggest myths surrounding abuse.
 
Myth #1: Abuse is always physical.
Abuse can be emotional, verbal, psychological, social, spiritual, financial, or even digital. It doesn’t always leave a visible mark.
 
Many people assume that if there's no hitting, then it’s not really abuse. But emotional abuse, like gaslighting, controlling behavior, or constant belittling, can be just as damaging, if not more so. According to the National Domestic Violence Hotline, emotional abuse is a common tactic used to manipulate and isolate victims, making them doubt their own worth and sanity. Long after bruises and injuries heal and fade, the impact of verbal and emotional violence lingers, which is why they are effective in controlling survivors.
 
Myth #2: If it were really that bad, they’d just leave.
Leaving an abusive relationship is often extremely difficult and even dangerous.
 
Survivors stay for many reasons: fear, financial dependence, concern for children, love, or simply because they don’t have anywhere safe to go. In fact, leaving can be the most dangerous time in an abusive relationship. One study found that 75% of women killed by a partner were murdered after leaving or attempting to leave. Telling someone to “just leave” oversimplifies a complex and often life-threatening situation.
 
Myth #3: Men can’t experience abuse.
Abuse can happen to anyone, but males are often overlooked or not believed. Society tends to view men as always strong and in control, so when a man experiences abuse, especially from a female partner, people might laugh it off or refuse to take it seriously. This can lead to deep shame and prevent men from seeking help. According to the CDC, 1 in 10 men in the U.S. have experienced some form of intimate partner violence, including stalking and physical violence, by an intimate partner.
 
Myth #4: Abusers are easy to spot.
Abusers can be charming, well-liked, and appear “normal” to outsiders.
 
Abuse doesn’t always happen at the hands of a scary looking stranger. Often, abusers are people we trust: a partner, family member, coworker, or community leader. They may be respected by others and use that to their advantage. This “dual identity” can make it especially hard for survivors to be believed when they do speak out.
 
 
Myth #5: Abuse only happens in certain communities.
Abuse doesn’t discriminate. It can affect anyone no matter your income or education level, religion, sex, etc. While certain groups may experience higher risk due to societal issues, abuse itself occurs across all communities.
 
Believing that abuse only happens to “other people” creates blind spots and allows the problem to continue unchecked.
 
Why These Myths Matter
These myths do real harm. They silence survivors, excuse abusive behavior, and make it harder for people to access the support they need. By educating ourselves and others, we can start to create an environment that sees abuse for what it is and believes those who come forward.
 
Breaking these myths is one of the first steps in building a society that truly supports survivors. Listening, believing, and learning, that’s how change begins.

Sources
https://www.thehotline.org/
https://nnedv.org/
https://www.cdc.gov/intimate-partner-violence/about/index.html
https://rainn.org/
https://www.unwomen.org/en/articles/facts-and-figures/facts-and-figures-ending-violence-against-women

Often, thoughts about what to do plague survivors before, during, and after violence. Many factors must be considered when escaping domestic violence. Some of these factors include essential documents to gather, items to pack, and what to leave behind. For many survivors, additional concerns, such as where to go or whether their abuser will find them, often prevent them from taking the next step to safely flee. The list of considerations becomes more complex as they must account for children, pets, and other dependents. What medicine or toys should I include? Do I have access to all their documents? Who can take me and my children in? It is particularly dangerous since leaving is the most perilous time for those impacted by domestic violence.

With so many factors to consider and possibilities crowding their minds, along with the impacts of the abuse itself, it is no wonder that survivors endure both mental and physical suffering as a result. Stress harms our health in various ways. Additionally, abuse rewires survivors' thinking patterns, resulting in survivors experiencing mental disorders such as Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder. Given the heightened risk of mental strain and negative effects on health, we encourage survivors to keep things simple after escaping abuse.

The biggest step was fleeing to safety, and you have accomplished that. On this journey, it is important to celebrate your wins and accomplishments as they come. After finding shelter or moving into a new home, take a deep breath and acknowledge that you can now settle into a safe space away from violence. When you get an interview or are hired for a new job, you take crucial steps toward independence and self-sufficiency. When you reach out to speak with a domestic violence specialist or a licensed mental health counselor, you regain control and address the negative impacts of the abuse you experienced.

While the specifics of simplifying your life may vary depending on your individual circumstances and journey, there are some general steps we can keep in mind as you move forward in your healing process

1. Not everything has to be done today. It often feels like we’re constantly pressed for time. However, it’s helpful to remember that some tasks can indeed wait until the next day, week, or even month. Rome wasn't built in a day, and as you work towards creating a personal utopia, it's crucial to give yourself time to process and make decisions.
2. Focus on what you can do and not what you can't. Rather than despairing over things out of your control, pivot your time and energy to the things you can. Getting stuck in cycles of stress and worry can be detrimental, and often, those seemingly insurmountable tasks can be broken down with the right resources and a shift in perspective. Let's try to direct our energy towards actions and areas where we can make a tangible difference.
3. Let others help. It is common for abusers to take advantage of survivors' reliance on them for support. So, naturally, it can feel scary or risky to rely on anyone after breaking free, but professionals can connect you with resources seamlessly, which will lighten your load. For example, the team at Beacon of Hope Crisis Center focuses on assisting those impacted by domestic violence in finding resources that can truly make a positive impact on their lives and well-being. These valuable resources are available to you, free of charge.

 
It's important to remember that no one deserves to experience domestic violence, and entering an abusive relationship is never a choice someone makes. Regardless of the circumstances you may be facing, you have the power to shape your future. Our dedicated team members are here to support you. We can help connect you with vital resources in the community, including housing and employment assistance. If you would like to speak confidentially with someone, please call our crisis line at 317-731-6140.

July is National Safety Month, a time to reflect on how we can protect ourselves, our loved ones, and our digital spaces. Whether you’re navigating an unsafe relationship, trying to protect your children or pets, or just want to be more intentional about online safety, having a plan in place can give you peace of mind and help you take control.

Here’s a guide to help you get started.

Personal Safety Planning

If you’re in a harmful or controlling relationship, creating a safety plan is one of the most empowering steps you can take. A good safety plan is customized to your situation and helps prepare you for emergencies, even if you’re not ready or able to leave right away.

Helpful steps include:

• Identify safe places where you can go in an emergency.
• Choose a code word to use with friends or family to signal that you need help.
• Make copies of important documents and store them securely, or give them to someone you trust.
• Contact local resources like Beacon of Hope Crisis Center for help.

Planning with Children

Children can experience emotional pain and distress from witnessing or being caught in domestic violence. It’s crucial to include them in your safety plans in an age-appropriate way.

Suggestions:

• Teach them how and when to call 911.
• Identify a safe room in the house where there are no weapons.
• Create a simple plan they can follow if a situation escalates.
• Let schools and childcare providers know if there are custody or safety concerns.

Pet Safety

Pets are often targeted in abusive situations. Planning ahead can help ensure they are protected, too.

Pet safety tips:

• Research domestic violence shelters that accept pets or offer temporary placement care for pets.
• Keep vet records, ID tags, food, and medication in a pet bag.
• If possible, ask a trusted friend or family member if they could temporarily care for your pet/s.

Tech & Digital Safety

Technology can be used by abusers to track, monitor, or control survivors. Practicing digital safety is essential.

Tips for tech safety:

• Turn off location services on phones, apps, and social media.
• Regularly update and change passwords. Use two-factor authentication.
• Check for spyware or unfamiliar apps.
• Avoid posting real-time updates or locations on social media.
• Consider using a secondary phone or a safe device.

Being in a place where you have to safety plan can be frightening, but it does not need to be a journey that you go into unprepared. For additional support and options, do not hesitate to contact our confidential crisis line at 317-731-6140. By calling our crisis line or filling out our contact page, you can connect with our trained team and receive free supportive services.

This upcoming Monday, June 30th, we say a heartfelt farewell to Sandra Ziebold as she concludes a decade of extraordinary leadership as our CEO.

Over the past ten years, Sandy’s passion and vision have helped our team reach remarkable milestones—positively impacting the lives of more than 11,000 individuals affected by domestic violence and sexual assault. And that number reflects only those recorded through our intake process. Through her public speaking, training, expert witness testimony, medical and chaplaincy relationship building, and tireless advocacy, Sandy’s reach has extended far beyond what can be counted.

One of Sandy’s most lasting contributions has been her unwavering commitment to partnering with law enforcement to improve responses to domestic violence and sexual assault. Thanks to her leadership, we’ve built strong, collaborative relationships with local police departments—ensuring survivors receive the
compassionate, coordinated care they deserve. Sandy also made sure law enforcement had a dedicated liaison within our organization, recognizing that true systems change happens through partnership.

We know that the data proves that stranglers are cop killers. Her advocacy led to the implementation of enhanced intake processes, particularly for identifying victims of strangulation—a known predictor of lethal violence, including risk to law enforcement. Her work has undoubtedly saved lives—primary, secondary, tertiary, and those who serve and protect.

Thank you, Sandy.
For your vision.
For your fierce commitment.
For ensuring we are ready for what’s next.

We’ll miss you, and we are grateful for your legacy and strong succession plan. Please join us in our continued expressions of deserved appreciation for Sandy and stay tuned as we welcome our new CEO on July 1st!

June is Men’s Health Month, a time to prioritize not just physical wellness, but also the mental and emotional health of men and boys across the country. While much of the conversation around domestic and sexual violence focuses on women, and rightfully so, there is a crucial part of the conversation that goes unheard: men who are survivors of domestic violence and sexual assault.
 
The Silent Struggle
 
Statistics show that 1 in 4 men have experienced some form of physical violence by an intimate partner in their lifetime. Additionally, about 1 in 6 men have been sexually abused or assaulted. These numbers are staggering, but they don’t tell the full story. Many men don’t report their experiences due to fear, stigma, or being dismissed.
 
In a society that often ties masculinity to toughness, silence, and stoicism, men are often taught that showing emotion or vulnerability is weakness. This toxic belief system can prevent male survivors from getting the support and healing they need.
 
Barriers to Reporting and Healing
 
Men face unique challenges when it comes to disclosing abuse or assault:

• Fear of not being believed.
• Shame or guilt, especially when the perpetrator is a woman.
• Stigma around male vulnerability and victimhood.
• Lack of male-specific resources or professionals trained to address male trauma.
• Concerns about sexuality, particularly for male survivors of same-sex assault.

 
These barriers can lead to long-term mental health struggles, including PTSD, depression, substance use, anxiety, and even suicidal thoughts.
 
It’s Time to Talk About It
 
Raising awareness is key to breaking the cycle of silence. Advocacy organizations, crisis centers, and community leaders must work together to:

• Normalize conversations about male victimization.
• Train professionals to recognize and support male survivors.
• Promote inclusive services that meet the needs of all survivors.
• Challenge stereotypes around masculinity and emotional expression.

 
Resources for Male Survivors
 
If you or someone you know is experiencing domestic violence or has survived sexual assault, you are not alone. Help is available.

• Beacon of Hope Crisis Center (Based in Indiana) – BeaconOfHopeIndy.Org; BOHCC Confidential Crisis Line: 317-731-6140
  
• RAINN (Rape, Abuse & Incest National Network)- https://rainn.org/
  
• National Sexual Assault Hotline. Free, Confidential, 24/7 Support. Call 900-656-HOPE
• 1in6- A nonprofit specifically supporting male survivors- https://1in6.org/
• The National Domestic Violence Hotline- 1-800-799-SAFE

 
Final Thoughts
 
This Men’s Health Month, let’s expand the conversation to include all survivors, regardless of one’s sex. Supporting male survivors of domestic and sexual violence doesn’t take away from women’s advocacy; it strengthens the fight against abuse for everyone.
 
Healing begins with being heard. Let’s create a culture where every voice, male or female, is believed, supported, and empowered.

 
Sources: 
Smith, S. G., Zhang, X., Basile, K. C., Merrick, M. T., Wang, J., Kresnow, M., & Chen, J. (2018).
The National Intimate Partner and Sexual Violence Survey (NISVS): 2015 data brief – Updated release.
Centers for Disease Control and Prevention. https://www.cdc.gov/nisvs/about/index.html

Every May, National Women's Health Week reminds us to prioritize the well-being of women and girls nationwide. It's a time to take a closer look at how daily habits, preventive care, and emotional balance impact long-term health. Let's illuminate an often-underestimated factor: stress, and how it uniquely affects women’s health.

Why Stress Deserves the Spotlight
Stress is more than just feeling overwhelmed. It’s a biological response designed to help us manage threats. But when stress becomes chronic, lingering for weeks, months, or even years, it can quietly erode physical and mental health.
 
For survivors of domestic violence and sexual assault, these are the conditions that they meet as they experience violence and the stress that follows traumatic experiences. With sexual assault experiences, stress can look like worrying about your physical safety and how you can afford medical bills following the attack. For domestic violence survivors, they might stress about how to escape, what will keep their abuser happy, and how they could survive without their abuser's support. So, in addition to the immediate effects of the abuse, these women then must grapple with ongoing stress that has long-term impacts.  

The Physical Costs of Stress in Women
Research shows that chronic stress can affect nearly every system in the body, but certain health risks are particularly heightened for women:

• Heart Health: Prolonged stress increases blood pressure and inflammation, raising the risk of heart disease, the leading cause of death among women.
• Hormonal Imbalances: Stress disrupts the balance of reproductive hormones, leading to menstrual irregularities, fertility issues, and exacerbated symptoms of menopause.
• Immune System Suppression: Constant stress can weaken immune defenses, making women more susceptible to infections and slower to recover from illnesses.
• Digestive Problems: Stress is linked to conditions like irritable bowel syndrome (IBS), which is more common in women.

The Mental and Emotional Toll
Women are twice as likely as men to experience anxiety and depression, and chronic stress is a key contributor. Persistent stress can drain emotional reserves, leading to burnout, sleep disturbances, and decreased quality of life.
 
For survivors, these mental and emotional tolls can result in them making decisions in fight or flight mode. It is hard to make decisions that are beneficial in the long run when you are focused on the next second and fearing for your safety.

Steps Toward Stress Resilience
The good news? Stress management is a skill that one can strengthen. Here are some impactful ways to protect your health during stressful times:

• Prioritize Self-Care: Make time daily for activities that bring joy and relaxation, whether it's reading, walking, or creative hobbies.
• Stay Active: Regular physical activity is one of the best buffers against stress, improving mood and energy.
• Mindfulness and Breathing Exercises: Practices like meditation, yoga, or simple deep-breathing techniques can lower stress hormones and calm the nervous system.
• Seek Support: Don't hesitate to contact friends, family, or a mental health professional. Sharing your burden lightens the load. Survivors can call our agency’s confidential crisis line at 317-731-6140 to speak with a victim advocate about their options.
• Routine Health Checks: Regular screenings and check-ups help catch potential stress-related health issues early.

Celebrate Your Health This Week
National Women’s Health Week is more than a calendar event it’s a personal invitation to reflect on your health and take actionable steps to safeguard it. Survivors can struggle with prioritizing their own needs after their trauma, and they may feel as if they don’t deserve it. Everyone deserves a healthy and happy life, and we are here to help survivors find solutions and to advocate for their continued support.

Let’s honor this week by committing to stress resilience, self-compassion, and holistic well-being. Your health is worth it.

At Beacon of Hope Crisis Center, our mission is to advocate for and empower individuals impacted by domestic violence and sexual assault. As we walk alongside survivors on their journey toward safety and healing, we often uncover layers of abuse that go beyond physical or emotional harm. One of the most insidious—and often overlooked—forms of abuse is financial abuse.

What Is Financial Abuse?

Financial abuse occurs when an abuser uses money or access to financial resources as a means to exert power and control over their partner. It can look different in every relationship, but the goal is the same: to trap the survivor in the relationship by making them financially dependent or isolated.


Some common tactics of financial abuse include:

• Restricting access to money: Only allowing the survivor a small “allowance” or denying them access to bank accounts.
• Sabotaging employment: Preventing the survivor from getting or keeping a job by causing disruptions, such as showing up at their workplace or refusing to provide childcare.
  
• Stealing or misusing money: Taking money without consent, opening credit cards in the survivor’s name, or ruining their credit.
• Controlling spending: Forcing the survivor to ask for permission to buy necessities or constantly monitoring receipts and transactions.
• Withholding financial information: Keeping the survivor in the dark about household finances, bills, or debts.

Why It Matters

Financial abuse occurs in up to 99% of domestic violence cases (NNEDV, 2018). It’s often one of the first signs of abuse and one of the biggest barriers to leaving an unsafe relationship. Without money, a survivor may feel they have no choice but to stay.
At Beacon of Hope Crisis Center, we’ve seen firsthand how financial abuse keeps survivors tethered to danger—and how breaking free from it can be a critical first step in reclaiming independence and safety.

How We Help

Our services are designed to address the full scope of abuse—including financial control. Whether it’s helping a survivor open a safe bank account, connect with employment resources, or understand their legal rights, our team offers support that recognizes the complexity of abuse.

We work alongside community partners to:

• Offer financial literacy workshops and job readiness training
• Provide advocacy for protective orders that include financial safety planning
• Connect survivors to emergency funds and housing assistance
• Support long-term safety plans that address financial stability and independence

What You Can Do

If you or someone you know is experiencing financial abuse, know that you are not alone. There is help and hope. Recognizing the signs is a powerful first step—and reaching out can change everything.

Here are a few ways to support survivors of financial abuse:

• Listen without judgment
• Respect their choices and timing
• Connect them with a trusted organization like ours for confidential support
  
• Advocate for policies and resources that expand financial empowerment for survivors

Join Our Mission

At Beacon of Hope Crisis Center, we believe that freedom from abuse includes financial freedom. Everyone deserves the right to make choices about their own life—including how they earn, spend, and save money. Let’s continue to shine a light on this often-hidden form of control and walk with survivors on their path toward empowerment.


Need help or want to talk to someone? Reach out to Beacon of Hope Crisis Center today at our confidential crisis line: 317-731-6140. Our advocates are here to support you.

In the face of unimaginable hardships, it is essential for victims to find ways to stay grounded and cultivate a sense of hope. One effective practice is gratitude, which goes beyond simply saying thank you; it involves being open to receiving kindness and reciprocating it. Gratitude journaling, a technique rooted in positive psychology, can significantly enhance both physical and emotional well-being.

This practice can be as simple or intricate as one desires. Individuals can jot down a quick list of 3-10 things they are thankful for or take a deeper dive into their feelings, expressing gratitude for specific moments, such as enjoying a sunny day with loved ones.

An appealing aspect of gratitude journaling is its flexibility; it doesn't require a daily commitment. Research indicates that even occasional entries—weekly, for instance—are beneficial. By dedicating time to reflect on what truly matters, individuals may find their resilience in the face of adversity strengthened.

Ultimately, it encourages a greater awareness of the positive aspects of life. What are you grateful for?
 

Sources:
https://www.npr.org/sections/health-shots/2018/12/24/678232331/if-you-feel-thankful-write-it-down-its-good-for-your-health
https://www.npr.org/sections/health-shots/2015/11/23/456656055/gratitude-is-good-for-the-soul-and-it-helps-the-heart-too
https://web.archive.org/web/20110904032507/http://psychology.ucdavis.edu/Labs/emmons/PWT/index.cfm?Section=4
https://www.calm.com/blog/gratitude-journal

The cycle of abuse keeps a victim from knowing what to expect. They never know what version of their abuser they are going to get. This allows abusers to maintain power and control over their victims. As a result of never knowing what to expect, victims are left experiencing a wide array of emotions. One overpowering feeling that can cause a victim to freeze or shut down is fear. Living under the weight of abuse and coercive control can result in a relentless knot of fear in the pit of one's stomach. Victims may live in terror of being followed, saying the wrong thing, or being unable to escape the abuse. As this fear grows, the knot only tightens further, making it increasingly difficult to trust one's feelings and emotions, think clearly, or even breathe normally. An abuser's manipulation and control can cause the survivor to feel on edge, never knowing what is to come.

It is important to remember that fear does not define a person; it is a natural survival instinct. While the feeling of fear might seem like a tightening knot that suffocates hope, it is not a permanent condition. Once safe, in time, the fear can be unraveled often with the support of friends, family, or professional advocates who can help lighten the burden. The path to a fear-free future may seem daunting, but with each courageous step forward, that oppressive knot will begin to loosen. And in its place, hope for a peaceful, self-empowered life will have the chance to take root and grow. Survivors can reclaim their lives and strive for a brighter future.

"Resilient, brave, strong, intelligent, and courageous" are just a few of the words that many people use to describe survivors of domestic violence. These descriptions can show up in a variety of ways, as everyone's story is unique, and how people internalize the trauma from domestic violence is a vastly different process from the way physical trauma can present itself with both immediate and long-term concerns. Amongst other bodily injuries that victims can have, it is critical to look into traumatic brain injuries (also known as TBIs) and their overlap with domestic violence. This is why we partner with medical professionals skilled in assessing for brain injury.

TBIs can stem from being hit on the head or face by an individual or an object. They can be caused by hitting the head or face against something as a result of being in a crash, being shoved, slammed, violently shaken, or falling, being near an explosion or blast, and strangulation. A history of potential or verified brain injuries from childhood, sports, military, previous domestic violence harm, etc., combined with recent head trauma can increase the risk of brain tissue degeneration resulting in fatigue, depression and mood changes, memory loss, confusion, aggression, impaired judgment, and difficulty with everyday tasks can lead to dementia and other chronic health conditions. Victims exposed to intimate partner violence are twice as likely to experience depression and nearly twice as likely to have alcohol use disorders compared to those who have not. Some may mistake traumatic brain injuries as a result of a person's physical, social, and mental health issues. Some symptoms would not initially warn or inform survivors of physical violence that there is a cause for concern with their behavior and emotional or cognitive struggles. The effects of intimate partner violence also do not decline with age; therefore, assumptions that past abuse would not be relevant to a client's current neurological state would be careless and incorrect.

Interventions to assist with TBI symptoms will vary depending on the symptoms and behaviors exhibited by each person. How a person is initially assessed (primary care, emergency hospitalization, substance abuse care) will also determine the next steps in determining a client's interventions concerning intimate partner violence resulting in a traumatic brain injury. It is critical to be proactive in cases where a TBI is highly probable and to get assessed by a medical professional for short and long-term care as soon as possible. As professionals in this field, we are responsible for working on intervention and prevention efforts. We must do all that we can to diminish such violence and prevent TBI cases as a result of domestic violence in the future. As a society, we need to continue to stay educated on the epidemic of TBI cases and take care of ourselves and others around us who could be at risk. We do this so that we can continue to see more survivors in our communities who exhibit the power to come out of domestic violence resilient, brave, strong, intelligent, and courageous. We are grateful for both our medical and law enforcement partners who have an awareness of this overlapping issue of brain injury and intimate partner violence.
 
Resources
Campbell, J. C., Anderson, J. C., McFadgion, A., Gill, J., Zink, E., Patch, M., Callwood, G., & Campbell, D. (2018). The effects of intimate partner violence and probable traumatic brain injury on central nervous system symptoms. Journal of Women’s Health, 27(6), 761–767. https://doi.org/10.1089/jwh.2016.6311
Gilkerson, F. (2022, August 12). Understanding domestic violence as a cause of TBI. Brain Injury Association of America. https://biausa.org/public-affairs/media/domestic-violence-as-a-cause-of-tbi
Haag, H. (Lin), Jones, D., Joseph, T., & Colantonio, A. (2019). Battered and brain injured: Traumatic brain injury among women survivors of intimate partner violence—a scoping review. Trauma, Violence, & Abuse, 23(4), 1270–1287. https://doi.org/10.1177/1524838019850623
Monahan, K. (2018). Intimate partner violence and traumatic brain injury: A public health issue. Journal of Neurology & Neuromedicine, 3(3), 3–6. https://doi.org/10.29245/2572.942x/2018/3.1181