By Lauren Shafer
It can be challenging for a victim to keep a strong bond with their child while they seek help after an abusive relationship. Some ways to ensure a healthy relationship between the parent and their child is to try the following:
By Megan Harris
When the topic of domestic violence comes up, what is the first thing that comes to mind? Is it the abusive relationship, the physical and emotional injuries, the isolation of a loved one, or the feeling of being helpless? There are some important people closely involved in these toxic relationships that often go unseen and unnoticed. They often keep quiet in order to protect themselves and their family out of fear. These people are the children who live in households with domestic violence occurring around them. The thought used to be that if a child doesn’t see the domestic violence it doesn’t effect them, but recent studies strongly suggests otherwise.
Domestic violence has many indirect effects on children. When there is domestic violence in a household the dynamics between parents/partners change. Not only does this affect the adults’ relationship, but it also affects their relationship with their children. In a household where the father is abusive towards the mother their parenting style tends to shift towards being more authoritative, neglectful, verbally abusive, and can even expose the children to the risk of emotional and physical abuse. Mothers who are being abused may assume a more passive parenting role. They may become less emotionally available to their children in order to protect them and herself. In some cases mothers who are abused turn to a variety of coping mechanisms such as substance abuse. In order to keep the peace in the household mothers often try to protect their children from the abuse by defending the abuser or down playing the events. This creates emotional distance between the mother and children because the children don’t feel they can bring their feelings and fears to their mother’s attention.
Aside from parenting changes, the exposure to domestic violence has immediate and long-term effects on children. The effects are numerous and every child reacts differently to domestic violence. Typically they can have two extremes. On one hand the child may exhibit an increase in aggressive behavior, rebellious behavior, mood swings, drug or alcohol abuse, poor school performance, and/or anger management problems. On the other hand they may internalize their trauma. This may result in anxiety, low self-esteem, shame/guilt, withdrawal, dependency, isolation from friends, trust issues, and nightmares. These are just a few ways children react to domestic violence and they may show signs that fit both of these scenarios. Some of the less recognized effects of domestic violence are stress manifesting itself into physical symptoms such as frequent headaches and stomach aches, tiredness, frequent illness, regression in mental development, self abuse, and poor personal hygiene. Other symptoms may mimic mental disorders such as hyperactivity disorder, ADD, OCD, and oppositional defiant disorders. By addressing their exposure to domestic violence with counseling and healing, these symptoms may go away.
In order to help these children through the healing process, seeing the world the way they do and listening to how they think is crucial. When we understand the reasoning of children we can better discuss the situation in a way that they would understand. For example, a child may think that if the police are called to the house, everyone will go to jail.
What every child needs :
Facts and Statistics
During a child’s life their minds and character are being shaped into the adult they will become. When a child’s life is surround by domestic violence the cycle can keep going, but if their emotional and mental health are addressed and cared for we can stop the cycle of domestic violence. Creating awareness of the effects domestic violence has on children and teens can create a strong and healthy generation focused on ending domestic violence in the world we live in.
If you or someone you know is in need of counseling, please call Beacon of Hope. We are here to help.
Beacon of Hope Crisis Center
Crisis Line: 317-731-6140
CHILDREN’S WITNESSING OF ADULT DOMESTIC VIOLENCE www.ncdsv.org/images/childrenwitnessingadultdv.pdf
When Dad Hurts Mom: Helping Your Children Heal the Wounds of Witnessing Abuse
Author: Lundy Bancroft
Published: March 1, 2005
Children and Domestic Violence abetterwaymuncie.org/signs-of-domestic-violence/children-and-domestic-violence/
By Danae Dewar
Did you know you can double your charitable donations and have a voice in directing your employer’s charitable giving? You can! In a recent review of Fortune 500 Companies’ Employee Giving Programs, it was found that 65% of Fortune 500 Companies offer matching gift programs for their employees.
Did you also know that over 18 million individuals are already having their charitable donations matched by their employers? And it’s not just Fortune 500s. Many companies offer employee giving programs that allow their employees to double the amount of money they give to the charity of their choice.
So, what is an employee giving program? Imagine that you are a project manager for IBM, and you want to give $100 to Beacon of Hope. After you make your $100 donation to Beacon of Hope, you can turn in your donation receipt on an online platform provided by IBM to their employees. IBM will then send an additional $100 to Beacon of Hope! With only $100, you contribute a total of $200 to Beacon of Hope!
This is just one example of the types of programs available for employee giving. Some companies will provide you with a simple form for you to send to Beacon of Hope with your donation. Beacon of Hope then completes the form and submits it for disbursement – no extra work for you! Some companies will even deduct your chosen donation from your paycheck and handle the rest for you. Just let your employer know how much you want to contribute, for example, $25, and they will send Beacon of Hope your $25 with an additional $25 from them. It’s that easy!
Contact your employer’s human resources or public relations department today to find out about their employee giving program. Thank you in advance for considering to help our mission and supporting us by requesting Beacon of Hope as your employee giving charity.
By Sandra K. Ziebold
Play Audio File: To learn about our Foster Pet Program
Success Narrative: Recent pet abuse safety success story
A woman called Beacon of Hope after having our number for several months. She had agonized over the idea of giving up her beloved pets, but then she made the courageous decision to call Beacon of Hope and ask for help. Within two hours of her first call, we found a foster home for her two cats, provided her with a list of jobs to apply for, and created a plan to help her find her own apartment. When following up with her later that afternoon, she expressed her astonishment in how quickly we were able to assist. She stated that our services had improved her outlook on the situation and given her a great sense of relief.
Victim Advocate – Beacon of Hope Crisis Center
By Sandra K. Ziebold
Look what Eagle Creek Animal Clinic is doing to help promote our crisis center...
DO YOU WANT TO WIN A FREE ANNUAL HEALTH CARE PACKAGE FOR YOUR PET?!?!?
Please help Beacon of Hope with their fundraising contest in Brackets for Good!
If you make a donation to Beacon of Hope on the Brackets for Good website you will be entered into a drawing for an annual health care package for your dog or cat at ECAC valued up to $250!
Beacon of Hope Crisis Center is an organization empowering victims of domestic violence to become self-sufficient by providing safety, education, and support.
40% of domestic violence victims are unable to escape their abusers because they are concerned about what will happen to their pets when they leave.
It is Beacon of Hope?s mission to make every effort to provide a safe and loving foster home for pets while their family heals. Our vision is to reunite pets with their owners when they can be housed in a safe and loving home.
1. Comment that you have donated on our Facebook the post regarding this contest.
2. One entry per household
3. All posts of donations need to be received between February 24 & March 24.
4. ECAC Annual Health Care package is good for up to $250 of services and may include Annual exam, any vaccines, any preventative care laboratory tests, and any other Annual Health Care routine services (nail trim, anal glands, etc.) for one (1) pet. Not to be used for an ill patient exam.
5. Annual Health Care package certificate will be printed with the winner's name on it but can be transferred to another person: even donated back to our compassionate care fund for a needy person to use.
6. Annual Health Care package certificate will expire March 31, 2018
By Stephanie Chapel
Signs that someone might be in an abusive relationship
Signs of an Abusive Relationship. (n.d.). Retrieved November 01, 2016, from
About this blog
This blog is about our domestic and sexual violence crisis center, Beacon of Hope. We hope you find it full of helpful information, motivation, creativity, serious facts and positivity. We hope that it will help you know what is happening in our center, in our community and with our events. We hope you follow our blog in support of our organization and our mission.