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By: Olivia Hernandez  When we talk about abuse, many people imagine a bruised face, screaming matches, or someone being dragged into a violent situation. But the truth is, abuse is often much more complicated, and many people experience it in ways that go unnoticed or misunderstood. To truly support survivors and challenge harmful systems, we must start by unlearning some of the biggest myths surrounding abuse.
Myth #1: Abuse is always physical. Abuse can be emotional, verbal, psychological, social, spiritual, financial, or even digital. It doesn’t always leave a visible mark. Many people assume that if there's no hitting, then it’s not really abuse. But emotional abuse, like gaslighting, controlling behavior, or constant belittling, can be just as damaging, if not more so. According to the National Domestic Violence Hotline, emotional abuse is a common tactic used to manipulate and isolate victims, making them doubt their own worth and sanity. Long after bruises and injuries heal and fade, the impact of verbal and emotional violence lingers, which is why they are effective in controlling survivors. Myth #2: If it were really that bad, they’d just leave. Leaving an abusive relationship is often extremely difficult and even dangerous. Survivors stay for many reasons: fear, financial dependence, concern for children, love, or simply because they don’t have anywhere safe to go. In fact, leaving can be the most dangerous time in an abusive relationship. One study found that 75% of women killed by a partner were murdered after leaving or attempting to leave. Telling someone to “just leave” oversimplifies a complex and often life-threatening situation. Myth #3: Men can’t experience abuse. Abuse can happen to anyone, but males are often overlooked or not believed. Society tends to view men as always strong and in control, so when a man experiences abuse, especially from a female partner, people might laugh it off or refuse to take it seriously. This can lead to deep shame and prevent men from seeking help. According to the CDC, 1 in 10 men in the U.S. have experienced some form of intimate partner violence, including stalking and physical violence, by an intimate partner. Myth #4: Abusers are easy to spot. Abusers can be charming, well-liked, and appear “normal” to outsiders. Abuse doesn’t always happen at the hands of a scary looking stranger. Often, abusers are people we trust: a partner, family member, coworker, or community leader. They may be respected by others and use that to their advantage. This “dual identity” can make it especially hard for survivors to be believed when they do speak out. Myth #5: Abuse only happens in certain communities. Abuse doesn’t discriminate. It can affect anyone no matter your income or education level, religion, sex, etc. While certain groups may experience higher risk due to societal issues, abuse itself occurs across all communities. Believing that abuse only happens to “other people” creates blind spots and allows the problem to continue unchecked. Why These Myths Matter These myths do real harm. They silence survivors, excuse abusive behavior, and make it harder for people to access the support they need. By educating ourselves and others, we can start to create an environment that sees abuse for what it is and believes those who come forward. Breaking these myths is one of the first steps in building a society that truly supports survivors. Listening, believing, and learning, that’s how change begins. Sources https://www.thehotline.org/ https://nnedv.org/ https://www.cdc.gov/intimate-partner-violence/about/index.html https://rainn.org/ https://www.unwomen.org/en/articles/facts-and-figures/facts-and-figures-ending-violence-against-women Comments are closed.
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