|
By: Aster Rye  In the face of unimaginable hardships, it is essential for victims to find ways to stay grounded and cultivate a sense of hope. One effective practice is gratitude, which goes beyond simply saying thank you; it involves being open to receiving kindness and reciprocating it. Gratitude journaling, a technique rooted in positive psychology, can significantly enhance both physical and emotional well-being.
This practice can be as simple or intricate as one desires. Individuals can jot down a quick list of 3-10 things they are thankful for or take a deeper dive into their feelings, expressing gratitude for specific moments, such as enjoying a sunny day with loved ones. An appealing aspect of gratitude journaling is its flexibility; it doesn't require a daily commitment. Research indicates that even occasional entries—weekly, for instance—are beneficial. By dedicating time to reflect on what truly matters, individuals may find their resilience in the face of adversity strengthened. Ultimately, it encourages a greater awareness of the positive aspects of life. What are you grateful for? Sources: https://www.npr.org/sections/health-shots/2018/12/24/678232331/if-you-feel-thankful-write-it-down-its-good-for-your-health https://www.npr.org/sections/health-shots/2015/11/23/456656055/gratitude-is-good-for-the-soul-and-it-helps-the-heart-too https://web.archive.org/web/20110904032507/http://psychology.ucdavis.edu/Labs/emmons/PWT/index.cfm?Section=4 https://www.calm.com/blog/gratitude-journal By: Aster Rye  The cycle of abuse keeps a victim from knowing what to expect. They never know what version of their abuser they are going to get. This allows abusers to maintain power and control over their victims. As a result of never knowing what to expect, victims are left experiencing a wide array of emotions. One overpowering feeling that can cause a victim to freeze or shut down is fear. Living under the weight of abuse and coercive control can result in a relentless knot of fear in the pit of one's stomach. Victims may live in terror of being followed, saying the wrong thing, or being unable to escape the abuse. As this fear grows, the knot only tightens further, making it increasingly difficult to trust one's feelings and emotions, think clearly, or even breathe normally. An abuser's manipulation and control can cause the survivor to feel on edge, never knowing what is to come.
It is important to remember that fear does not define a person; it is a natural survival instinct. While the feeling of fear might seem like a tightening knot that suffocates hope, it is not a permanent condition. Once safe, in time, the fear can be unraveled often with the support of friends, family, or professional advocates who can help lighten the burden. The path to a fear-free future may seem daunting, but with each courageous step forward, that oppressive knot will begin to loosen. And in its place, hope for a peaceful, self-empowered life will have the chance to take root and grow. Survivors can reclaim their lives and strive for a brighter future. By: Abigail Guevara  "Resilient, brave, strong, intelligent, and courageous" are just a few of the words that many people use to describe survivors of domestic violence. These descriptions can show up in a variety of ways, as everyone's story is unique, and how people internalize the trauma from domestic violence is a vastly different process from the way physical trauma can present itself with both immediate and long-term concerns. Amongst other bodily injuries that victims can have, it is critical to look into traumatic brain injuries (also known as TBIs) and their overlap with domestic violence. This is why we partner with medical professionals skilled in assessing for brain injury.
TBIs can stem from being hit on the head or face by an individual or an object. They can be caused by hitting the head or face against something as a result of being in a crash, being shoved, slammed, violently shaken, or falling, being near an explosion or blast, and strangulation. A history of potential or verified brain injuries from childhood, sports, military, previous domestic violence harm, etc., combined with recent head trauma can increase the risk of brain tissue degeneration resulting in fatigue, depression and mood changes, memory loss, confusion, aggression, impaired judgment, and difficulty with everyday tasks can lead to dementia and other chronic health conditions. Victims exposed to intimate partner violence are twice as likely to experience depression and nearly twice as likely to have alcohol use disorders compared to those who have not. Some may mistake traumatic brain injuries as a result of a person's physical, social, and mental health issues. Some symptoms would not initially warn or inform survivors of physical violence that there is a cause for concern with their behavior and emotional or cognitive struggles. The effects of intimate partner violence also do not decline with age; therefore, assumptions that past abuse would not be relevant to a client's current neurological state would be careless and incorrect. Interventions to assist with TBI symptoms will vary depending on the symptoms and behaviors exhibited by each person. How a person is initially assessed (primary care, emergency hospitalization, substance abuse care) will also determine the next steps in determining a client's interventions concerning intimate partner violence resulting in a traumatic brain injury. It is critical to be proactive in cases where a TBI is highly probable and to get assessed by a medical professional for short and long-term care as soon as possible. As professionals in this field, we are responsible for working on intervention and prevention efforts. We must do all that we can to diminish such violence and prevent TBI cases as a result of domestic violence in the future. As a society, we need to continue to stay educated on the epidemic of TBI cases and take care of ourselves and others around us who could be at risk. We do this so that we can continue to see more survivors in our communities who exhibit the power to come out of domestic violence resilient, brave, strong, intelligent, and courageous. We are grateful for both our medical and law enforcement partners who have an awareness of this overlapping issue of brain injury and intimate partner violence. Resources Campbell, J. C., Anderson, J. C., McFadgion, A., Gill, J., Zink, E., Patch, M., Callwood, G., & Campbell, D. (2018). The effects of intimate partner violence and probable traumatic brain injury on central nervous system symptoms. Journal of Women’s Health, 27(6), 761–767. https://doi.org/10.1089/jwh.2016.6311 Gilkerson, F. (2022, August 12). Understanding domestic violence as a cause of TBI. Brain Injury Association of America. https://biausa.org/public-affairs/media/domestic-violence-as-a-cause-of-tbi Haag, H. (Lin), Jones, D., Joseph, T., & Colantonio, A. (2019). Battered and brain injured: Traumatic brain injury among women survivors of intimate partner violence—a scoping review. Trauma, Violence, & Abuse, 23(4), 1270–1287. https://doi.org/10.1177/1524838019850623 Monahan, K. (2018). Intimate partner violence and traumatic brain injury: A public health issue. Journal of Neurology & Neuromedicine, 3(3), 3–6. https://doi.org/10.29245/2572.942x/2018/3.1181 By: Katherine Yajure  Healing is not a straight road with clear signs and a final destination; it is a winding, unpredictable journey unique to each person. Some days feel like progress, while others feel like you’re back where you started. Whether healing from loss, trauma, illness, or personal struggles, this process is deeply personal. Some people find comfort in therapy, while others turn to spirituality, creative outlets, or community support. There is no single right way to heal, and understanding that can be a powerful act of self-compassion. Many wish healing were a simple step-by-step process with a clear finish line. But real healing is messy. According to Dr. Judith Herman, a trauma expert, healing often comes in phases: first, establishing safety, then processing the trauma, and finally, reconnecting with life (Herman, 1992). However, these phases don't happen in perfect order. Life triggers setbacks, old wounds resurface, and some days are harder than others. The concept of “two steps forward, one step back” is common in healing. Dr. Bessel van der Kolk, a leading psychiatrist in trauma research, explains that our bodies hold on to pain in ways we don’t always understand (Van der Kolk, 2014). This is why healing isn’t just about changing thoughts; it often requires engaging the body, whether through movement, breathwork, or other forms of physical healing. Because everyone's life experiences, support systems, and coping mechanisms are different, the healing journey will look different. What works for one person may not be effective for another. Some find therapy and counseling, such as cognitive-behavioral therapy (CBT) and Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing (EMBDR), helpful in processing emotion and trauma (Shapiro, 2018). Others turn to creative outlets like journaling, painting, or music to express what words cannot capture (Malchiodi, 2012). Yoga, meditation, and deep breathing help regulate emotions and calm the nervous system (Porges, 2011). For many, relationships and community are at the heart of healing. Dr. Bruce Perry's research shows how human connection can rewire the brain and foster emotional recovery (Perry & Szalavitz, 2017). The key is to find what feels right for you. Healing isn't about checking boxes; healing is about discovering what helps you move forward, even in the smallest ways. One of the hardest yet most important parts of healing is being gentle with yourself. Dr. Kristin Neff, an expert in self-compassion, reminds us that treating ourselves with kindness rather than harsh judgment helps build emotional resilience (Neff, 2011). It's okay to struggle. It's normal to feel stuck. Healing is not about being perfect; it's about showing up for yourself, even on hard days. Healing is deeply personal, unpredictable, and full of twists and turns. There’s no “right” way to do it; comparing your progress to someone else's won't help. What matters is taking steps, big or small, toward wholeness. Some days, progress may feel invisible. On other days, a small victory, such as getting out of bed, reaching out for support, or simply being kind to yourself, can mean everything. Healing is not a race. It’s a journey, and every step forward, no matter how small, is worth celebrating. References:
By: Abigail Guevara Recognizing Unhealthy and Abusive Relationships and Building Healthy One’s
It’s easy to recognize unhealthy relationships when viewing others' situations from a distance. For instance, seeing a man physically harm his partner is undeniably distressing. However, it becomes more complex when we consider the subtler forms of unhealthy relationships, such as the difficulties in friendships or the influence of growing up in homes where abusive behaviors felt normal. The Department of Health for Massachusetts outlines several red flags, including disrespect and dishonesty as early indicators of boundary violations. We may also find ourselves trapped in relationships marked by control, dependence, or hostility, which can isolate us and create feelings of entrapment. Furthermore, more blatant forms of abuse, such as stalking or intimidation, can severely impact an individual’s sense of safety and autonomy.
Society often teaches us about healthy relationships built on trust, love, care, humor, and safety, contrasting sharply with relationships characterized by violence and control. It’s important to acknowledge that our experiences shape us and the relationships we form. Educating young people about recognizing toxic patterns early on can be a vital step in fostering healthier connections. Understanding what a healthy relationship looks like for you, and being willing to reflect on and address your behaviors, is crucial. We all have room to grow—not necessarily toward perfection, but toward healthier interactions. Recognizing and maintaining personal boundaries can be a powerful practice, though it can be challenging when those boundaries are unintentionally crossed. When discussing boundaries, consider how best to approach the conversation for yourself and the person involved. It’s essential to remember that setting and respecting your limits is a form of self-care, even if it may not resonate with everyone around you. Allowing yourself to let go of the need for control over others can alleviate stress and foster peace of mind. Life is full of uncertainties—sometimes reality TV couples defy the odds and stay together, while first dates blossom into lasting marriages. Conversely, the reality is that childhood friendships may fade, and familial relationships can become strained, which can be incredibly painful. We often can’t predict how our stories will unfold, and it's perfectly fine to feel unsettled by that uncertainty. However, we can strive to remain mindful of our needs and definitions of healthy relationships, which can ultimately help protect our peace and well-being. Resources: https://www.mass.gov/info-details/what-does-an-unhealthy-relationship-look-like https://irep.ntu.ac.uk/id/eprint/29157/1/6631_Crowther-Dowey.pdf https://www.mentalhealth.org.uk/our-work/public-engagement/healthy-relationships/top-tips-building-and-maintaining-healthy-relationships By Cheyenne Taylor (from all of us at BOHCC)
By: Cheyenne Taylor
A message from our CEO
Message from our CEO: Sandra Ziebold  This month, we are placing a heightened focus on educating as many people as possible about the reality that domestic violence is a public health issue. In too many cases, it is often also a medical emergency. Domestic violence is about power and control and is highly stressful. When you are stuck in fight or flight mode from long-term trauma, it can cause the stress hormone cortisol to reach very high levels. In stressful situations, your adrenal glands produce more cortisol. Sustained high-stress hormones can increase the risk of severe health problems. Thank you for helping us amplify our messaging this October during Domestic Violence Awareness Month and beyond. Your supportive shares, donated items, and financial gifts that enable us to help many, mean the world to us. The work that our victim advocates do every day is critical to helping those in need connect the dots to achieve safety and a future free from the grip of domestic violence. That knot of fear in a victim's gut can shrink and heal. Victim advocates are skilled at identifying lethality risk, and we want anyone living in emotional or physical fear because of violence to reach out and lean on us. We can help with services and resources for things that seem impossible. In September alone, we served 102 new victims, and at the same time, our small, amazing team of victim advocates also provided 1,670 case management services to existing survivors. Out of the 102 new clients who requested assistance, eleven disclosed that they were homeless, one disclosed being deaf, and four disclosed they were pregnant. Forty out of the one hundred and two cases had children living in the home, and sixteen of the one hundred and two cases had DCS involvement where the child/children were the victims of domestic violence and/or sexual assault or witnessed the violence. Among the 102 new victims were 14 cases of stalking/harassment, one kidnapping, four violations of protective orders, and 22 victims of strangulation. The level of violence and the complexity of the situations are alarming among those we are serving, and we need your help to join in this fight with us to help so many suffering in this way in our community right here in central Indiana. Yes, this is happening in our neighborhoods. You may wonder why they don't just leave, but in many of these high-lethal situations, it is hard to get away, and letting anyone know could bring harm to the victim, as there is an increased threat to their lives as they seek to flee. According to the Violence Policy Center, research shows that state laws restricting those under domestic violence restraining orders from accessing firearms and laws allowing the warrantless arrest of those in violation of domestic violence restraining orders are associated with reductions in intimate partner homicide. Murder-suicides are horrific and violent events that often involve families, intimate partners, and children. The impact this violence has on survivors and communities is significant and all too often unacknowledged. Please continue to help amplify this message. Will you join us and help in whatever way is comfortable and within your time and financial means? This task is large, and we need you. References:
https://vpc.org/revealing-the-impacts-of-gun-violence/murder-suicide/ By: Deni O'Brien  Domestic violence itself is a threat to the safety of a victim, but some aggravating circumstances increase their risk of being greatly harmed or murdered. It's important to recognize these warning signs and educate victims on the threat this poses to them and the importance of fleeing. A couple of main indicators of a high lethality risk in abusive relationships are strangulation incidents and weapons in the home.
When a victim of domestic violence calls our crisis line for help, there are typically several things they are trying to solve at once. Often, they call about resources for shelter, long-term housing, employment, childcare, financial support, or filing for a protection order. Because a victim's health is often the last thing on their mind when fleeing and trying to tackle so many other things, we, as Victim Advocates, must take the time to address this with victims and inquire about any health needs. When discussing the different types of abuse a victim has experienced, we listen carefully for any disclosure of strangulation or head injuries. Any history of strangulation puts a victim at higher risk of homicide at the hands of their abuser. Of women who experience intimate partner violence, 68% will experience near-fatal strangulation (Training Institute on Strangulation Prevention). The chance of homicide increases by 750% for victims who have experienced strangulation, compared to victims who have never been strangled (Training Institute on Strangulation Prevention). Strangulation means the obstruction of airflow and blood vessels in the neck, meaning loss of consciousness can happen within seconds, and death can occur in minutes. When a victim survives an incident of strangulation, they may experience damage to their throat tissue, memory loss, vision issues, psychosis, brain damage, and even death weeks after the incident due to respiratory complications or blood clots. Typically, victims and their loved ones are unaware of just how seriously strangulation should be taken and that their lives are at risk. Assessing if a victim has experienced strangulation from their abuser and educating them on the impacts can be a matter of life or death. A second thing Victim Advocates are on high alert for is if there are any weapons in the home. As Victim Advocates, we are not just asking if the abuser has threatened the victim with weapons. We want to know if the abuser even owns or has access to firearms. The presence of a gun in domestic violence situations increases the risk of homicide for women by 500%. More than half of women killed by gun violence are killed by family members or intimate partners (National Domestic Violence Hotline). Even after a victim has successfully fled abuse, people willing to commit homicide against their victims often will not be stopped by a protection order. Once we hear any mention of a weapon, safety planning is of utmost importance to protecting the lives of victims and their loved ones. A victim is not able to address something they are unaware of. The more knowledge they have, the better they can understand what this means for their health and safety. If you or somebody you know is experiencing domestic violence, we highly encourage you to reach out to our crisis line and connect with a Victim Advocate. We are here to educate victims, assist with their needs, and change the course of their lives. We want to see every victim we encounter become safe, healthy, and self-sufficient. |
|
|