The Knot of Fear: The Emotional Toll of Coercive Control

By: Aster Rye

The cycle of abuse keeps a victim from knowing what to expect. They never know what version of their abuser they are going to get. This allows abusers to maintain power and control over their victims. As a result of never knowing what to expect, victims are left experiencing a wide array of emotions. One overpowering feeling that can cause a victim to freeze or shut down is fear. Living under the weight of abuse and coercive control can result in a relentless knot of fear in the pit of one's stomach. Victims may live in terror of being followed, saying the wrong thing, or being unable to escape the abuse. As this fear grows, the knot only tightens further, making it increasingly difficult to trust one's feelings and emotions, think clearly, or even breathe normally. An abuser's manipulation and control can cause the survivor to feel on edge, never knowing what is to come.

It is important to remember that fear does not define a person; it is a natural survival instinct. While the feeling of fear might seem like a tightening knot that suffocates hope, it is not a permanent condition. Once safe, in time, the fear can be unraveled often with the support of friends, family, or professional advocates who can help lighten the burden. The path to a fear-free future may seem daunting, but with each courageous step forward, that oppressive knot will begin to loosen. And in its place, hope for a peaceful, self-empowered life will have the chance to take root and grow. Survivors can reclaim their lives and strive for a brighter future.

---