How to Help Survivors of Sexual Assault

By: Cheyenne Taylor

​Robert Ingersoll, an American lawyer and writer, once said, “We rise by lifting others.” Today, we want to discuss the ways we can help uplift survivors of sexual assault. We can start by changing the way society speaks about survivors. Common myths about sexual assault are harmful to survivors and can prevent them from getting the help and justice they deserve. These myths include beliefs that survivors “got what they deserved” or that they were “asking for it.” These thoughts are communicated through questions like, “What were they wearing,” “What were they doing,” or “Why did they drink so much?”
 
The truth is these types of questions focus on the wrong person. When a stabbing occurs, we never turn to the stabbing victim and question what they were wearing to make themselves more at risk of getting stabbed. We know that it is not our place to question survivors, and there is no justification for causing this harm. However, when speaking about sexual assault survivors, we assume they are lying – even though less than 2% of people are reported to have lied about sexual assault1. We also focus on questioning the survivors instead of questioning those who sexually assault people. Survivors are shamed so much that many do not report their perpetrators and many perpetrators go free. In fact, only 5 out of every 1,000 perpetrators will end up in prison2. Survivors feel so much shame for being sexually assaulted, but we can work together to take away those feelings of guilt.
 
Instead of questioning survivors about their actions and what they did to “deserve” trauma that nobody deserves, we can show support to these survivors. We can offer support by using phrases like “It took a lot of courage to speak about this,” “It’s not your fault,” or “You are not alone. I am here to help.” We can also continue to check-in with them and give them the time to grieve and heal from their experiences. We should also validate their decisions. Listen to them without judgment and encourage them to make the best decision for themselves and their health.
 
Additionally, we can suggest local resources to help the survivor. Beacon of Hope Crisis Center offers free services like protective order filing, safety planning, employment and financial assistance, emotional support, referrals for housing, jobs, and much more.
 
Our victim advocates are here to support you. Speak with a victim advocate by calling our confidential crisis line at (317) 731-6140. If you are in immediate danger, please call 9-1-1.