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By: Abigail Guevara Recognizing Unhealthy and Abusive Relationships and Building Healthy One’s
It’s easy to recognize unhealthy relationships when viewing others' situations from a distance. For instance, seeing a man physically harm his partner is undeniably distressing. However, it becomes more complex when we consider the subtler forms of unhealthy relationships, such as the difficulties in friendships or the influence of growing up in homes where abusive behaviors felt normal. The Department of Health for Massachusetts outlines several red flags, including disrespect and dishonesty as early indicators of boundary violations. We may also find ourselves trapped in relationships marked by control, dependence, or hostility, which can isolate us and create feelings of entrapment. Furthermore, more blatant forms of abuse, such as stalking or intimidation, can severely impact an individual’s sense of safety and autonomy.
Society often teaches us about healthy relationships built on trust, love, care, humor, and safety, contrasting sharply with relationships characterized by violence and control. It’s important to acknowledge that our experiences shape us and the relationships we form. Educating young people about recognizing toxic patterns early on can be a vital step in fostering healthier connections. Understanding what a healthy relationship looks like for you, and being willing to reflect on and address your behaviors, is crucial. We all have room to grow—not necessarily toward perfection, but toward healthier interactions. Recognizing and maintaining personal boundaries can be a powerful practice, though it can be challenging when those boundaries are unintentionally crossed. When discussing boundaries, consider how best to approach the conversation for yourself and the person involved. It’s essential to remember that setting and respecting your limits is a form of self-care, even if it may not resonate with everyone around you. Allowing yourself to let go of the need for control over others can alleviate stress and foster peace of mind. Life is full of uncertainties—sometimes reality TV couples defy the odds and stay together, while first dates blossom into lasting marriages. Conversely, the reality is that childhood friendships may fade, and familial relationships can become strained, which can be incredibly painful. We often can’t predict how our stories will unfold, and it's perfectly fine to feel unsettled by that uncertainty. However, we can strive to remain mindful of our needs and definitions of healthy relationships, which can ultimately help protect our peace and well-being. Resources: https://www.mass.gov/info-details/what-does-an-unhealthy-relationship-look-like https://irep.ntu.ac.uk/id/eprint/29157/1/6631_Crowther-Dowey.pdf https://www.mentalhealth.org.uk/our-work/public-engagement/healthy-relationships/top-tips-building-and-maintaining-healthy-relationships Comments are closed.
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