Supporting A Survivor Of Sexual Assault

By: Shelby Bubnick

Every 98 seconds, an American is sexually assaulted.* The prevalence of sexual assault is alarming, and it affects more than the primary victim. Sexual assault can also affect the friends, family, and community of the survivor. If your loved one has been sexually assaulted, it is normal to feel upset, or at a loss for words. In some cases, you may be the first person the survivor has told. This may put pressure on you as you search for the right things to say and do. Consider the following when responding to a loved one that is disclosing they have been sexually assaulted.
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• Listen - Breaking the silence about what has happened takes courage. Let them know that you are here to listen and remind them that they are brave for sharing their story with you.
• Be there - if the survivor decides to seek medical attention or report the incident to the police, show your support by offering to go with them. This can be scary to do alone.
• Do not judge - Speaking up about sexual assault is difficult and, in many cases, the victim stays silent due to fear of being judged. Never blame the survivor for the assault.
• Encourage them to seek support - Research and locate sexual assault service providers for the survivor to contact.  Share the resources with the survivor, but do not force them to get help. Getting help is their choice, and they may need time to process what is going on before they decide to seek help. 
• Be patient - Recovering from trauma is not a fast process. It can take time, so it is essential never to rush the survivor. Let them recover at their own pace. 
• Respect - Respect the survivor and what they are going through. This is a tough time for them and they need a strong support system. If the survivor declines your invitation to go out and do something, do not be offended. They may feel like they are not ready to socialize at this time and that is okay.
• Do not ignore suicidal talk - Suicidal talk should be taken seriously. Learn the warning signs and offer help and support.

Advocates at Beacon of Hope Crisis Center are trained to assist victims of sexual assault by providing support and education. Learn more here. If you would like to speak with an advocate, please call our crisis line (317)731-6140.