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By: Lauryn Forster What is the Cycle of Abuse?
The Cycle of Abuse is the idea that domestic violence is a recurring pattern of abuse and further demonstrates the difficulty survivors face in leaving these controlling relationships. Beyond the external cycle of abuse and violence, survivors often develop their own internal coping mechanisms or "scripts" to distract from the reality of the abuse. These scripts can unfortunately prolong their stay in abusive relationships. The Cycle of Abuse is divided into four stages and can repeat numerous times. Survivors may experience the entire cycle over a short period or over several years. Additionally, children raised in these environments may come to perceive this cycle as “normal.” The Four Stages of Abuse
It can be incredibly challenging for survivors to recognize the cycle of abuse while they are in the midst of it. Often, they may believe that the abuser's behavior during the "calm" stage reflects their true self, and that actions during the "tension" and "incident" stages are due to external factors. At Beacon of Hope Crisis Center, we are here to help. While abuse doesn't always follow a predictable pattern, recognizing its signs and reacting swiftly is crucial. Our dedicated specialists provide emotional support, education, and connections to vital community resources. Our team works diligently to help survivors secure safe housing and employment, and we also assist with protective orders, medical care, court accompaniment, counseling, and more, all to help break free from the cycle of violence and abuse. REMEMBER The cycle never ends, but you can stand up to abuse and break free from the grip of violence. To receive help from our specialists, contact the confidential BOHCC Crisis Line at (317)731-6140. By: Olivia Hernandez  Every year, thousands of lives are lost to suicide, and behind many of these tragedies lies an untold story of abuse and violence.
September is National Suicide Prevention Month, a time when communities across the U.S. share resources and raise awareness about mental health and suicide risk. However, the critical link between suicide and domestic or sexual violence is often overlooked. How DV and SA Increase Suicide Risk Survivors of domestic violence (DV) and sexual assault (SA) face higher rates of depression, PTSD, and feelings of hopelessness, all important risk factors for suicide. According to the National Coalition Against Domestic Violence (NCADV), survivors of intimate partner violence are nearly twice as likely to attempt suicide compared to those who have not experienced such abuse. (1)
Understanding the Hidden Factors Domestic violence and sexual assault don’t just cause physical harm, they often involve psychological abuse, financial control, and social isolation, which can increase suicidal thoughts.
How We Can Help While suicide is a sensitive topic, there are ways we can help survivors struggling with suicidal ideation. It’s important that we do our best to help while they are still here to receive help. Listen and Believe
Connect Them to Help
Offer Support, Education, and Resources
Where to Learn More Suicide Prevention Resource Center: https://www.sprc.org/ National Alliance on Mental Illness (NAMI): https://www.nami.org/ Ending suicide means ending the silence for survivors of violence, ensuring they are seen, heard, and supported. Together, we can help prevent another life lost to despair. If you or someone you know is in crisis, please reach out: Call or text 988 for the Suicide and Crisis Lifeline. Sources Cited
988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline: https://988lifeline.org Suicide Prevention Resource Center: https://www.sprc.org/ NAMI: https://www.nami.org/ By: Olivia Hernandez  When we talk about abuse, many people imagine a bruised face, screaming matches, or someone being dragged into a violent situation. But the truth is, abuse is often much more complicated, and many people experience it in ways that go unnoticed or misunderstood. To truly support survivors and challenge harmful systems, we must start by unlearning some of the biggest myths surrounding abuse.
Myth #1: Abuse is always physical. Abuse can be emotional, verbal, psychological, social, spiritual, financial, or even digital. It doesn’t always leave a visible mark. Many people assume that if there's no hitting, then it’s not really abuse. But emotional abuse, like gaslighting, controlling behavior, or constant belittling, can be just as damaging, if not more so. According to the National Domestic Violence Hotline, emotional abuse is a common tactic used to manipulate and isolate victims, making them doubt their own worth and sanity. Long after bruises and injuries heal and fade, the impact of verbal and emotional violence lingers, which is why they are effective in controlling survivors. Myth #2: If it were really that bad, they’d just leave. Leaving an abusive relationship is often extremely difficult and even dangerous. Survivors stay for many reasons: fear, financial dependence, concern for children, love, or simply because they don’t have anywhere safe to go. In fact, leaving can be the most dangerous time in an abusive relationship. One study found that 75% of women killed by a partner were murdered after leaving or attempting to leave. Telling someone to “just leave” oversimplifies a complex and often life-threatening situation. Myth #3: Men can’t experience abuse. Abuse can happen to anyone, but males are often overlooked or not believed. Society tends to view men as always strong and in control, so when a man experiences abuse, especially from a female partner, people might laugh it off or refuse to take it seriously. This can lead to deep shame and prevent men from seeking help. According to the CDC, 1 in 10 men in the U.S. have experienced some form of intimate partner violence, including stalking and physical violence, by an intimate partner. Myth #4: Abusers are easy to spot. Abusers can be charming, well-liked, and appear “normal” to outsiders. Abuse doesn’t always happen at the hands of a scary looking stranger. Often, abusers are people we trust: a partner, family member, coworker, or community leader. They may be respected by others and use that to their advantage. This “dual identity” can make it especially hard for survivors to be believed when they do speak out. Myth #5: Abuse only happens in certain communities. Abuse doesn’t discriminate. It can affect anyone no matter your income or education level, religion, sex, etc. While certain groups may experience higher risk due to societal issues, abuse itself occurs across all communities. Believing that abuse only happens to “other people” creates blind spots and allows the problem to continue unchecked. Why These Myths Matter These myths do real harm. They silence survivors, excuse abusive behavior, and make it harder for people to access the support they need. By educating ourselves and others, we can start to create an environment that sees abuse for what it is and believes those who come forward. Breaking these myths is one of the first steps in building a society that truly supports survivors. Listening, believing, and learning, that’s how change begins. Sources https://www.thehotline.org/ https://nnedv.org/ https://www.cdc.gov/intimate-partner-violence/about/index.html https://rainn.org/ https://www.unwomen.org/en/articles/facts-and-figures/facts-and-figures-ending-violence-against-women By: Lauryn Forster We were so excited to attend National Night Out last night at various locations in central Indiana. National Night Out is an annual event that supports police-community relations, aiming to foster a stronger sense of community and create a more caring and safer environment.
We are always excited to attend National Night Out, where we can support law enforcement who are active participants in our efforts to support survivors and work collaboratively to support our mission. At BOHCC, our specialists collaborate with law enforcement to follow up on domestic violence and sexual assault cases, educate survivors about their rights, and assist with reporting and accessing support services. We also ensure survivors are up to date with legal updates, educate them about the criminal justice system, and connect them to law enforcement when requested. We also assist in providing domestic violence and sexual assault training to our law enforcement partners, who are eager to stay aware of how domestic violence and sexual assault impact community members and how they can better intervene and serve survivors. Thus, our collaborations help to save lives in our community. We were able to share information regarding our agency and the partnership we have with law enforcement, learn about new community resources available, and further connect with local officers and law enforcement. We are so grateful to have had the opportunity to bridge the gap between law enforcement and the community while having good food and enjoying our time together. We look forward to attending next year as well and encourage all who can to do the same! https://natw.org/about/ By: Cheyenne Taylor  Often, thoughts about what to do plague survivors before, during, and after violence. Many factors must be considered when escaping domestic violence. Some of these factors include essential documents to gather, items to pack, and what to leave behind. For many survivors, additional concerns, such as where to go or whether their abuser will find them, often prevent them from taking the next step to safely flee. The list of considerations becomes more complex as they must account for children, pets, and other dependents. What medicine or toys should I include? Do I have access to all their documents? Who can take me and my children in? It is particularly dangerous since leaving is the most perilous time for those impacted by domestic violence.
With so many factors to consider and possibilities crowding their minds, along with the impacts of the abuse itself, it is no wonder that survivors endure both mental and physical suffering as a result. Stress harms our health in various ways. Additionally, abuse rewires survivors' thinking patterns, resulting in survivors experiencing mental disorders such as Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder. Given the heightened risk of mental strain and negative effects on health, we encourage survivors to keep things simple after escaping abuse. The biggest step was fleeing to safety, and you have accomplished that. On this journey, it is important to celebrate your wins and accomplishments as they come. After finding shelter or moving into a new home, take a deep breath and acknowledge that you can now settle into a safe space away from violence. When you get an interview or are hired for a new job, you take crucial steps toward independence and self-sufficiency. When you reach out to speak with a domestic violence specialist or a licensed mental health counselor, you regain control and address the negative impacts of the abuse you experienced. While the specifics of simplifying your life may vary depending on your individual circumstances and journey, there are some general steps we can keep in mind as you move forward in your healing process
It's important to remember that no one deserves to experience domestic violence, and entering an abusive relationship is never a choice someone makes. Regardless of the circumstances you may be facing, you have the power to shape your future. Our dedicated team members are here to support you. We can help connect you with vital resources in the community, including housing and employment assistance. If you would like to speak confidentially with someone, please call our crisis line at 317-731-6140. By: Olivia Hernandez  July is National Safety Month, a time to reflect on how we can protect ourselves, our loved ones, and our digital spaces. Whether you’re navigating an unsafe relationship, trying to protect your children or pets, or just want to be more intentional about online safety, having a plan in place can give you peace of mind and help you take control.
Here’s a guide to help you get started. Personal Safety Planning If you’re in a harmful or controlling relationship, creating a safety plan is one of the most empowering steps you can take. A good safety plan is customized to your situation and helps prepare you for emergencies, even if you’re not ready or able to leave right away. Helpful steps include:
Planning with Children Children can experience emotional pain and distress from witnessing or being caught in domestic violence. It’s crucial to include them in your safety plans in an age-appropriate way. Suggestions:
Pet Safety Pets are often targeted in abusive situations. Planning ahead can help ensure they are protected, too. Pet safety tips:
Tech & Digital Safety Technology can be used by abusers to track, monitor, or control survivors. Practicing digital safety is essential. Tips for tech safety:
Being in a place where you have to safety plan can be frightening, but it does not need to be a journey that you go into unprepared. For additional support and options, do not hesitate to contact our confidential crisis line at 317-731-6140. By calling our crisis line or filling out our contact page, you can connect with our trained team and receive free supportive services. By: The Beacon of Hope Crisis Center Team  This upcoming Monday, June 30th, we say a heartfelt farewell to Sandra Ziebold as she concludes a decade of extraordinary leadership as our CEO. Over the past ten years, Sandy’s passion and vision have helped our team reach remarkable milestones—positively impacting the lives of more than 11,000 individuals affected by domestic violence and sexual assault. And that number reflects only those recorded through our intake process. Through her public speaking, training, expert witness testimony, medical and chaplaincy relationship building, and tireless advocacy, Sandy’s reach has extended far beyond what can be counted. One of Sandy’s most lasting contributions has been her unwavering commitment to partnering with law enforcement to improve responses to domestic violence and sexual assault. Thanks to her leadership, we’ve built strong, collaborative relationships with local police departments—ensuring survivors receive the compassionate, coordinated care they deserve. Sandy also made sure law enforcement had a dedicated liaison within our organization, recognizing that true systems change happens through partnership. We know that the data proves that stranglers are cop killers. Her advocacy led to the implementation of enhanced intake processes, particularly for identifying victims of strangulation—a known predictor of lethal violence, including risk to law enforcement. Her work has undoubtedly saved lives—primary, secondary, tertiary, and those who serve and protect. Thank you, Sandy. For your vision. For your fierce commitment. For ensuring we are ready for what’s next. We’ll miss you, and we are grateful for your legacy and strong succession plan. Please join us in our continued expressions of deserved appreciation for Sandy and stay tuned as we welcome our new CEO on July 1st!  By: Olivia Hernandez  June is Men’s Health Month, a time to prioritize not just physical wellness, but also the mental and emotional health of men and boys across the country. While much of the conversation around domestic and sexual violence focuses on women, and rightfully so, there is a crucial part of the conversation that goes unheard: men who are survivors of domestic violence and sexual assault.
The Silent Struggle Statistics show that 1 in 4 men have experienced some form of physical violence by an intimate partner in their lifetime. Additionally, about 1 in 6 men have been sexually abused or assaulted. These numbers are staggering, but they don’t tell the full story. Many men don’t report their experiences due to fear, stigma, or being dismissed. In a society that often ties masculinity to toughness, silence, and stoicism, men are often taught that showing emotion or vulnerability is weakness. This toxic belief system can prevent male survivors from getting the support and healing they need. Barriers to Reporting and Healing Men face unique challenges when it comes to disclosing abuse or assault:
These barriers can lead to long-term mental health struggles, including PTSD, depression, substance use, anxiety, and even suicidal thoughts. It’s Time to Talk About It Raising awareness is key to breaking the cycle of silence. Advocacy organizations, crisis centers, and community leaders must work together to:
Resources for Male Survivors If you or someone you know is experiencing domestic violence or has survived sexual assault, you are not alone. Help is available.
Final Thoughts This Men’s Health Month, let’s expand the conversation to include all survivors, regardless of one’s sex. Supporting male survivors of domestic and sexual violence doesn’t take away from women’s advocacy; it strengthens the fight against abuse for everyone. Healing begins with being heard. Let’s create a culture where every voice, male or female, is believed, supported, and empowered. Sources: Smith, S. G., Zhang, X., Basile, K. C., Merrick, M. T., Wang, J., Kresnow, M., & Chen, J. (2018). The National Intimate Partner and Sexual Violence Survey (NISVS): 2015 data brief – Updated release. Centers for Disease Control and Prevention. https://www.cdc.gov/nisvs/about/index.html By: Ashlyn Robertson  Every May, National Women's Health Week reminds us to prioritize the well-being of women and girls nationwide. It's a time to take a closer look at how daily habits, preventive care, and emotional balance impact long-term health. Let's illuminate an often-underestimated factor: stress, and how it uniquely affects women’s health.
Why Stress Deserves the Spotlight Stress is more than just feeling overwhelmed. It’s a biological response designed to help us manage threats. But when stress becomes chronic, lingering for weeks, months, or even years, it can quietly erode physical and mental health. For survivors of domestic violence and sexual assault, these are the conditions that they meet as they experience violence and the stress that follows traumatic experiences. With sexual assault experiences, stress can look like worrying about your physical safety and how you can afford medical bills following the attack. For domestic violence survivors, they might stress about how to escape, what will keep their abuser happy, and how they could survive without their abuser's support. So, in addition to the immediate effects of the abuse, these women then must grapple with ongoing stress that has long-term impacts. The Physical Costs of Stress in Women Research shows that chronic stress can affect nearly every system in the body, but certain health risks are particularly heightened for women:
The Mental and Emotional Toll Women are twice as likely as men to experience anxiety and depression, and chronic stress is a key contributor. Persistent stress can drain emotional reserves, leading to burnout, sleep disturbances, and decreased quality of life. For survivors, these mental and emotional tolls can result in them making decisions in fight or flight mode. It is hard to make decisions that are beneficial in the long run when you are focused on the next second and fearing for your safety. Steps Toward Stress Resilience The good news? Stress management is a skill that one can strengthen. Here are some impactful ways to protect your health during stressful times:
Celebrate Your Health This Week National Women’s Health Week is more than a calendar event it’s a personal invitation to reflect on your health and take actionable steps to safeguard it. Survivors can struggle with prioritizing their own needs after their trauma, and they may feel as if they don’t deserve it. Everyone deserves a healthy and happy life, and we are here to help survivors find solutions and to advocate for their continued support. Let’s honor this week by committing to stress resilience, self-compassion, and holistic well-being. Your health is worth it. By: Katherine Yajure  At Beacon of Hope Crisis Center, our mission is to advocate for and empower individuals impacted by domestic violence and sexual assault. As we walk alongside survivors on their journey toward safety and healing, we often uncover layers of abuse that go beyond physical or emotional harm. One of the most insidious—and often overlooked—forms of abuse is financial abuse. What Is Financial Abuse? Financial abuse occurs when an abuser uses money or access to financial resources as a means to exert power and control over their partner. It can look different in every relationship, but the goal is the same: to trap the survivor in the relationship by making them financially dependent or isolated. Some common tactics of financial abuse include:
Why It Matters Financial abuse occurs in up to 99% of domestic violence cases (NNEDV, 2018). It’s often one of the first signs of abuse and one of the biggest barriers to leaving an unsafe relationship. Without money, a survivor may feel they have no choice but to stay. At Beacon of Hope Crisis Center, we’ve seen firsthand how financial abuse keeps survivors tethered to danger—and how breaking free from it can be a critical first step in reclaiming independence and safety. How We Help Our services are designed to address the full scope of abuse—including financial control. Whether it’s helping a survivor open a safe bank account, connect with employment resources, or understand their legal rights, our team offers support that recognizes the complexity of abuse. We work alongside community partners to:
What You Can Do If you or someone you know is experiencing financial abuse, know that you are not alone. There is help and hope. Recognizing the signs is a powerful first step—and reaching out can change everything. Here are a few ways to support survivors of financial abuse:
Join Our Mission At Beacon of Hope Crisis Center, we believe that freedom from abuse includes financial freedom. Everyone deserves the right to make choices about their own life—including how they earn, spend, and save money. Let’s continue to shine a light on this often-hidden form of control and walk with survivors on their path toward empowerment. Need help or want to talk to someone? Reach out to Beacon of Hope Crisis Center today at our confidential crisis line: 317-731-6140. Our advocates are here to support you. |
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