The Silent Victims Short-Term Effects

By: Shelby Bubnick

Children are often the silent victims of domestic violence. 1 in 15 children are exposed to intimate partner violence each year, and 90% of these children are eyewitnesses to the violence. * Although children can be resilient, many who witness or overhear abuse – whether the abuse is emotional, verbal, or physical, are at high risk for profound short-term psychological, mental and social effects.

Domestic violence in the home can create a tense environment. As a result, children who live in these homes might experience fear and anxiety. Younger children who witness abuse may start to regress to toddler behavior (thumb sucking, bed-wetting, increased whining and crying). School-aged children may blame themselves for the abuse. This self-blame reaction can occur naturally, or because the abuser told the child that they are responsible for the violence. Either way, this can hurt a child’s self-esteem. Low self-esteem can affect the child’s participation in classes and school activities which may isolate them.

Teenagers who witness abuse may experience different short-term effects than young children. Teens might respond to this violence by acting out in negative ways such as, fighting with family members and skipping school. Teens are also more likely to abuse drugs and alcohol to cope with the stress and anxieties of their home life. These teens may experience low self-esteem and have trouble making friends. In some cases, these effects can ultimately cause depression.

It is essential to recognize the short-term effects of witnessing domestic violence to help the child recover. Witnessing abuse is traumatizing, and it may be something the child never forgets. Connect with community resources; educate yourself and your kids. The sooner a child gets help, the better their chances of becoming a healthy adult.
 
If a child has witnessed domestic violence:

• Make them feel safe – Safety can be accomplished by building a calm and stable environment. Children exposed to trauma may always be on high alert, scanning for potential threats, giving them little time to relax and feel at ease.
• Talk to them about their fears – Try to answer their questions honestly but also age appropriately. This gives the child a sense of safety and control by knowing what is happening and feeling like they can openly talk to their parent about the violence they have witnessed.
• Be honest – Honesty helps kids understand what happened and can help them build trust.
• Tell them it is not their fault – Children often blame themselves for the violence, and this is never the case. Reassure the child that they are not the reason for the violence.
• Educate them on what a healthy relationship looks like – Let the child know that this is not what a healthy relationship is. This talk can prevent the child from becoming an abuser or a victim of abuse in the future, since they may normalize the abuse and think that is how a relationship is supposed to be.
• Help them build coping skills – Coping skills should be specific to each person’s interests. Some children and teens enjoy physical activity while other may want to find time alone in a quiet space. Whatever encourages them to release and reduce any built-up stress they may be experiencing.

Examples:

• Engaging in sports
• Making art
• Keeping a journal

• Support system – Help the child find a reliable support system by encouraging friendships with people who make them feel happy and confident. Identify resources the child can reach out to for help such as counselors, police officers, teachers, etc.

 
To speak with an advocate and learn more about services at Beacon of Hope Crisis Center please call our crisis line (317) 731-6140. We are here to help.
*ncadv.org